What's love got to do with it? Does low sex drive mean she isn't in love?


When a woman’s sex drive dips, her partner often takes this personally. He may view her sex drive as indicative of how she feels about the relationship as a whole, how she feels about sex with him, or how she feels about him as a person. But the reality is that women’s sex drive fluctuates tremendously over the life course.

It is not uncommon for women to have a higher sex drive at the onset of a relationship and a low sex drive at its conclusion. Major life changes can also impact sex drive. Pregnancy and menopause have a significant impact on sex drive for women as well. Medications can interfere with her libido also.

A lack of self esteem can impede sex drive, as can being depressed or not feeling as emotionally intimate with her partner. Just being too stressed out can interfere with her desire. But for women, low sex drive is chronic. Some women have such low libidos that they are diagnosed with hypoactive sexual desire disorder. However, sex drive varies significantly from person to person and it is not uncommon for one partner to have a much lower drive than the other. This can cause friction or conflict.

The biggest thing for her partner to understand is that a low sex drive in a woman does not necessarily indicate a lack of feelings or love for her partner. Many woman are very in love with their husbands, fiancés, boyfriends, and partners, but don’t desire sex. 
When all medical causes for a lack of sex drive have been investigated and solved, if a woman’s sex drive is chronically lower than her partners, is the relationship doomed? Some lifestyle changes can enhance libido. For example, regular exercise and cutting back on alcohol can help. But if there is still a gap between each partner’s desire, some couples turn to some chemical help. Aphrodisiacs have been known to be of use to women whose sex drive is low compared to their partner’s. Hormone-based aphrodisiacs are much more effective than any based on myth and legend, such as certain foods increasing desire.